Inside out Upside down

Just beside myself.
JD played some songs last night and we did some singing. Just all in good fun. Good good times. We got into some Ben (Harper) and, man it has been so long. Just before moving back to the AL I decided that I would turn it down some because I was a little beyond obsessed. Not really with the artist so much as the message. After last night it became like an itch I had to scratch. I've been listening to BH's CDs all day and to top it off I have just finished scrapping my first page about life while I was in NYC. Now it's just been tumbling back in.
The passion. The drive to help, to serve, to be third (God 1st, you 2nd, me 3rd). To be poor and not care because life is worth so much more. The words I hear now reminding me just what it's all about:

Tell me do you really know your brother man
cause a heart speaks louder than a color can
and why would you even shake a man's hand
if you're not going to help him stand

Jah work Jah work Jah work is never done

Every man's actions belong to he
if prepared for thereafter to each his destiny
some people believe and some people know
some people deceive and some people show

Jah work Jah work Jah work is never done

You must do the heaviest so many shall do none
you have got to stand firm so many shall run
some they rest their head at night some get no sleep at all
if you listen close to what you see you will hear the call
______________
I'm okay with where we are and what we are doing right now. Our education is a means to an end but I'm getting froggy and I hope when the degrees are in hand we don't forget to jump.
Just a bit of bitterness has crept into my heart since we've moved back. I've been goinggoinggoing and it's really taken its toll. Luckily I was able to quit work just a few months ago to focus on school and without the nonstop demands of both I have been able to focus my energy on the things that matter and I've discovered that the bitterness was invited by the selfishness. Where did that come from? I don't know but both are unwelcome guests and both, I am happy to say, are disintegrating rapidly. I was lost for awhile, caught up in the grind, but I'm starting to remember again.
It's not about me.