It is a very mellow Friday night. Mellow because I have to be up at 4:30am to get ready for clinicals at the VA. Yeah, the VA. Old people, particularly old men, are the saddest population to work with in my opinion. Many students disagree and say sick babies are the hardest but I don't think so. Babies are easy to love. They are well cared for in the hospital and while no one wants to see a baby sick it doesn't hold a candle in the wind to older sick people. This is not a glamorous population and therefore they are often mistreated, neglected, etc. I'm not trying to be Debbie Downer; just putting these feelings out there. It's gonna be hard for me. We shall see how this goes.
So anyway, this semester is the hump. It is the in between. When it is over I will be half way finished with nursing school. Almost there. The final stretch. It is also the hump because it is the most difficult. It is the summer semester so therefore it is condensed. A whole bunch of stuff crammed into a short amount of time. It will be our first semester to do two completely separate clinical rotations. High acuity (intensive care...this I am doing at the VA) and OB (which I will do at St. Vincent's "where babies come from"...the best in Birmingham...for this I am very lucky). Birth and death all in one semester. I suppose they wanted to equal things out?
I'm trying to keep it together. Trying so hard to be a good student and a good wife and good to myself. I'm a little nervous about how I'm doing with the good student thing. My good friend Lacie and I were talking about our fears of being incompetent as far as the clinical setting goes. It's not as if we don't know what we are doing but the fact of the matter is, as you gain more knowledge and understand the weight of that knowledge and try to put it into practice it just becomes so, I don't know, frightening, I guess. For example, when my clinical instructor says, "Expect to do chest compressions this semester" the gravity of the situation overwhelms me more than just a little.
Sorry if it is heavy but it is on my mind. If you are the praying kind...remember me. If you are not...good vibes will do.
I can do this.
Like the Little Engine that Could:
I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.